Loving Well Week Two

By October 30, 2011Loving Well

Welcome back to the Womens Bible Cafe as we continue our study of Loving Well by Beth Moore. We’ve now watched the first two video sessions of this study, and we have two more to complete. We’ve enjoyed reading your comments and growing together as a group.

This post is written by Raye Holmes

This past week has been one of the most trying weeks I have had in a long time! However it has been one that I needed to set my pride aside and allow God to speak to my heart on some issues that have been rooted down in me and to see there are some relationships that I have no business being in.  I love how God works! He used a Bible study called Loving Well to give me the wake up call I needed!

For years I have based God’s love for me on how ‘other’ people love me. From my parents, to my spouse, friends, church family, etc. I saw so clearly this week how wrong that is, how wrong I was!

God loves us all for who we are – the person that He created! No matter what we do, say, don’t do, etc. God Loves US!  Many times I would question God’s love for me over my 47 years. When I was 17, raped and left pregnant, and my family and church family abandoned me. When my ‘christian’ husband of 22 years, who I was in the ministry with, came home from church the Sunday before Thanksgiving in 2005 and informed me he could not stand the ground I walked on, among other choice words. When church family abandoned me in this time and I felt all alone.  The time in 2007 just when mine and my Mom’s relationship was restored – she got diagnosed with cancer and died in Feb. 08. I took it as God abandoning me once again. Then two years later almost to the date my Mom passed away and after my relationship with my Dad got restored – Dad passed in Feb. 10. I took it as God abandoning me once again!  I never saw that the most wonderful man that God put in my life a month before my Mom died as a gift from God – because He loves me until this past week! How sad is that?!

Another area I felt God abandoning me in is in friendships. One in particular. No matter what I do for this person, it never is enough. No matter how difficult it is to love her, I would just keep on keeping on. The whole time struggling on a daily basis; causing her and I both pain.

After this week’s Bible Study I must say, I had this all wrong!  God never leaves or forsakes me. God loves me for me – after all He created me! God is for me, He is not against me! Nothing I could ever do or say, nothing! NOTHING can separate me from God’s Love! And God showed me this week that the above incidents in my life; left some ROOTS that was not from Him and it was time to put my pride aside and allow Him to get those roots out of my heart!

It was painful, I am not going to say it was easy. I bawled like I had a death in my life! However, now I am so free from that bondage!

The relationship with the person I described before, I will say without going into much detail, but video 3 talks very plainly about that! Once again I had to set aside my pride and allow God to teach me how to handle this relationship. Sometimes we just need God to show us their hearts or sometimes we just need to obey God and back off from the relationship until our hearts our ‘healthy’. Only you and God would know the answer to that…

God is so wonderful! His grace and mercy is such an outstanding blessing. I was reminded today of something God spoke to me years ago, that He has set me as lady that represents a “Trophy of His Grace”! And that I need to start walking and living my life as such! God also reminded me that through those hurtful times in my life it was HIM that was always by myside, rather it was just His presence I felt, Him speaking to me through His Word or a Worship Song. God has always been with me. It was the Holy Spirit coming down and comforting me like no other can do!  I once had a blog called just that, ” Trophy of His Grace” and I am so looking forward to going back to it and writing and showing off my trophy case of God’s Love for Me!

When you find yourself not being able to ‘Love Well’ – check yourself, check your heart, set aside your pride and think back to those times when God loved you when no one else did and be thankful for that love! I pray you never find yourself taking that love for granted, like I found myself!

This may be an unusual write up and not one that many may  want to read. Since I am such a real person and usually do not hold too many things back that is in my heart, I had to write it. My prayer is that each of you doing this Bible Study will allow God to reach down deep in your heart and allow Him to pull the roots out that have been hindering you from ‘Loving Well’.

Have a great weeks ladies and may we all know God’s love like never before!


Homework For This Week

Group Discussion- Please post a comment and answer one or as many questions as you want

  1. How do you feel about God’s unfailing love for you?
  2. In what ways has God shown His perfect love towards you?
  3. Share a favorite moment from this week’s lesson.

Author WBC

Find online bible studies for women at the Womens Bible Cafe. It's also a place where you can meet other Christian women from around the world and fellowship together. If you're unable to a attend a church small group bible study then the Bible Study Cafe is just right for you! Look under "Current Studies" to see what we're reading. Bring your book and let's study the Word together.

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Join the discussion 16 Comments

  • Caroline says:

    After this weeks study questions in the journal and the video session and I am feeling so blessed in my life even through the rough spots Jesus still loves me for me and has never left my side. I am learning to let god love me so I can then love myself and others the way God intended me to. God is good!

  • Christina says:

    Wow. So powerful. I knew it had to be coming because God is really teaching me a lot in how I need to love others well and am not. This week’s video was so powerful to me. Spoke truth into my life. I often look for my love cup to be filled in other places and from other people. So thankful.

    How do you feel about God’s unfailing love for you? I want to be a person, a woman, who knows that God’s love is enough for me. Who is filled with God’s love to meet all my needs. I feel His unfailing love still is so unknown to me in many different aspects of my life. But I pray to seek His love more in all things and to know it more deeply and intimately.
    In what ways has God shown His perfect love towards you? He’s by my side. He listens to me and pours His grace all over me. I don’t know how to explain it sometimes to friends who don’t follow Him, but He’s so near to me. And His Word speaks so much into my life. He’s so present. I’m so thankful for His love that never stops loving me- in all the ways He knows I need to be loved.
    Share a favorite moment from this week’s lesson. I loved the filled love cup metaphor. And also loved looking at Genesis29 and seeing how Leah named her sons after her heart seeking Jacob’s love. I related so much to that and just want to praise the Lord along with her like her 4th son. Thankful to see the Word in this different light, even a story that is told many times. Seeing Leah’s pain after not experiencing the love she desired and seeing how the Lord can only love her the way she needs is powerful. PTL. Loved this week’s video! 🙂

  • mala says:

    Good morning ladies!! Im a bit late on my comment. Due to my bieng a week behind on my study. I am convinced that the prayer on page 29 (bottom) sums it all up! Im really getting in touch with my thoughts and feelings within this study. Its been a true blessing. Cant wait for the winter study on the book of James.
    Thank you Raye for leading us and loving us!

    • Sheila says:

      I agree, this week has been a hard one, I also had some things that was tugging at my heart, and I had to finally “let them go” in order to allow God to show me His love. It is diffiuclt to admit that I am sometimes the “testy one” and as I listened to Beth on this bible study it really had an effect on me. I often let old garbage get in the way of loving everyone. It is difficult when you have been hurt to let go of some hurts. I have decided to let go and “LET GOD.’ I know that HE can heal my hurts , and HE is always here for me. I have to turn to HIM, and away from those who do not respect and love me for who I am, one of GODS Children….Amen….

  • Raye says:

    Lynne – yes it is so hard! However God always see through this. I thought I was done with the “brokeness” but so thankful that God is once again breaking me again to mold me and make me to the woman He created me to be!

  • Susan says:

    1.How do you feel about God’s unfailing love for you? Amazed and thankful that He will always love me no matter what.
    2.In what ways has God shown His perfect love towards you? God’s perfect love is shown through the changes that I have experienced. I am more forgiving and more appreciative. Without his love I would still be a emotional mess.
    3.Share a favorite moment from this week’s lesson. pg 28 – To the degree that we battle insecurity and anxiety, we are not letting the love of God reach its goal in our hearts.

  • Lynne says:

    Sorry for the late post. I just can’t imagine not knowing and feeling God’s love for me. I think I shared before that there was a season in my life that I knew God loved me…..but because he had to….because He was God. That is not the love I know from God today. God love’s me because He chooses to and that is evident because he chose to send His perfect son to atone for my imperfect life. Understanding this changed everything in my life, my marriage, my relationships, and my self. I realized during this session that I have been harboring fear down deep in the shadows of my life. The season I mentioned above was the longest most difficult time in my life. Learning what I did from God, letting him change me into the person He wanted me to become was so very hard that it place a fear in me that God might find something else and ask me to walk through a similar fire. I’ve been afraid that I couldn’t go through the pain and hurt again. But I learned through this session that God’s love is so huge, and I can trust him with all my fears and shadows. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that God loves me so much He will only ask me to take a hard hurtful journey to become stronger and better for Him. And I also know that He will be with me every step of the way…..just like He was before. Thanks you Jesus!

  • Raye says:

    Judy, yes know that song very well. We sung it at church yesterday too!

  • Caroll says:

    1.How do you feel about God’s unfailing love for you?
    Speachless to be blessed with such a gift of all gifts. I feel like I need this more than food, water, air, shelter.
    2.In what ways has God shown His perfect love towards you?
    God walked me out of the darkest season of my life and has held on to me since. God shines his light before me when I am lost and has guided me to the right place and the right people. I have been given such a blessed life to which I often felt so undeserving. God’s perfect love is just that and I know and feel his love as real as I am writing this, God’s perfect love is so real to me and it puts so much energy in every part of my being, even on the hard days. God’s perfect love has been forgiving when I couldn’t even forgive myself. The strength of it is just unimaginable to me and makes me want to just pour love over everyone be family or stranger. God’s perfect love has walked me out of dark times, helped me sit hate down from this body and helps me daily try to do good, work at discipline and move forward on this journey of finding my way through this life and home to him. God’s pefect love is filling and lasting. God’s perfect love is more awesome than awesome and makes me want to be a better person, life a better life and help others do the same.

    3.Share a favorite moment from this week’s lesson.
    Day 4: Fearless Love. I have had a man who in a 2 year season of my life who had such pride and a need to be in control. I witnessed and experienced his punishments personally as he used scare tactics playing on our own insecurities over and over. He was supposed to be a leader but was furtherst from it. He made threats, was most unethical and unfair abusing his leadership role. What blows my mind is not only how he got away from so many bad things in his administration but how I (and many many others) allowed him so much into my head even though this man reaked of sick sadism. Many times I (we) felt helpless as during this season I was living internationally and part of a program where much money and my time was heavily invested. I felt I lost all happiness, hopes, love and direction. This tree of life could not get water and I slowly felt like I was living a slow death. Though I openely never allowed this man to get to me which is possibly why he is still trying to punish me from afar, I carried so much fear that even months after returnign to the USA I felt emotionally paralyzed. I suffered nightmares, grinding my teeth and anxiety attacks. For weeks and weeks I isolated myself.

    To hear the word “fearless love” REALLY makes me stop and think about 1 John 4:18. I want love and there is no fear in love. I want perfect love and seeking this I fully believe that love does drive out fear. I am living this now in this moment…

    I strongly feel I have been able to sit all of “that” behind me as focusing on my one perfect love, God and working with this relationship…..IT is THIS that matters most to me in my whole being and working through this it just amazed me how small all the problems of my world became.

    I believe that loving is one of the strongest healers and is the best medicines one can give and take.
    Insecurity and anxiety are fading feels so good…even sleeping better feels good. I’m in strong need of Gods love and God’s light in my heart and in my head. Fearless love. Words to cherish and live by.

  • Sue Alice says:

    Raye and everyone,

    Just one long paragraph, so here goes. Raye, it seems as if you and I have been though the same things. I got pregnant at around seventeen, my mom forced me to have an abortion, I had no church family, and really no one in my life. I just ended up hating people for years and never forgave them until it was almost too late. My father was one of those people, I forgave him almost two years before he died in July 2000. On his death bed he told me he was sorry for what he had done to me. So this week has been hard on me also. My mon died in 1985 and we had our differences; also we fought all the time. So I had to learn to forgive her and myself after she passed away. God has shown me so many times and in so many ways that He loves me, by not abandoning me, He always takes me back no matter what I do. It has been a long hard, difficult road for me. I have trouble of letting go of things. I still find it hard to forgive my family for some things they have done to me, and I am sure they have had the same hard time with me…..forgiving me. I am not a easy person to love, I am the one you want to snatch me bald-headed most of the time. My pride gets in the way all the time. So, I put pride away and asked the Lord to forgive me for all the wrong I have done and all the hurt I have caused in peoples lives. His grace and mercy is more than I deserve. I would be nothing or where I am today without God’s grace. I am so thankful I have God’s love and He will never forsake me……even if I backslide.

    Blessings and prayers to everyone.

  • Allison says:

    1.How do you feel about God’s unfailing love for you?

    Many times we find it hard to love people when they hurt or dissappoint us, but God is not like that. He loves us all the time even when we hurt or dissappoint Him. He still loves us regardless of what we do . I have given God plenty of reasons to be dissappointed in me. When I think about God providing comfort and peace in the midst of storms, through the ups and downs in life as well as protection from the enemy, I am overwhelmed with gratitude for His unfailing love.

    2.In what ways has God shown His perfect love towards you?

    God has shown mercy on me even when I turned my back on Him. When I was off making choices that did not line up with the ways of the Lord, He was still loving me perfectly. In the midst of the chaos that was my life, He sent me my wonderful, hard-working husband that has taken such great care of me for over 30 years. With that union, God blessed us with 4 healthy, happy children. That is how I think of God’s perfect love…with gratitude for what God has given us. Even when I was off making bad choices and doing my own thing, He was there taking care of me. Praise God!

    3.Share a favorite moment from this week’s lesson

    I realized that I am good enough to be loved by God despite the deceptions of the enemy telling me otherwise. I don’t want to let pride make me self-centered, selfish, or spare me from loving others. I also liked when Beth said: “We will not love well until we feel well loved.” I pray that I will allow God to love through me.

  • Angie says:

    1. How do you feel about God’s unfailing love for you?

    I feel thankful, awed, humbled, special, and I want to love Him back with everything in me.

    2. In what ways has God shown His perfect love towards you?

    Jesus’ death on the cross and Him choosing me to be His child were two that immediately came to mind when I tried to think in respect of His perfect love as “complete” and “to reach its goal”.

    3. Share a favorite moment from this week’s lesson.

    There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18

    “When we stay in a state of fear, we are not letting God’s love accomplish its goal in us.”

    This is so powerful to me. Help me, Father to allow your love to accomplish its goal in me.

  • Julie says:

    How do you feel about God’s unfailing love for you?
    It is overwhelming yet comforting; unbelievable yet believable. I want to share with others how God loves me, he will never stop, he will always be with me and through him I can love others.

    In what ways has God shown His perfect love towards you?
    God continues to show his love for me in forgiveness, in my family and friends — in his Word.

    Share a favorite moment from this week’s lesson.
    On page 31 statements 7&8 really spoke to me. I don’t need to earn and can’t earn God’s love. I need to accept God’s love as it is there for me. I need to let god love ME.

  • Judy says:

    Bless Your Heart, Raye xox …. My heart bleeds for you. Wow, you have really been through the “washing machine of life” You see, every single one of us has SOMETHING! After the first week of this class, when I wrote about my disillusionment and all that jazz, I found out the what I thought was right was wrong!! IMAGINE THAT ;-( I was dazed, jaw-opened shocked at how very wrong I was…. The Lord showed me what was R-E-A-L-L-Y going on. The gal I blamed for the whole mess turned out to be a guy and a very close person in my life. Geez Louise ;-/ Well, like you Raye, my eyes have been opened and I am free!! Yesterday during worship at my church we sang the song “Free by Jon Egan”. Have you heard the song? I have not heard this particular version of the song in a while…. I pert’near fell on the floor when the worship team started praising Abba Father with this song! Here’s the words: verse 1; “I Am Free, Through You the blind will see, Through You the mute will sing, Through You the dead will rise, Through You all hearts will praise, Through You You the darkness flees, Through You my heart screams, I AM FREE ….chorus….. : I am free to run I am free to run, I am free to dance I am free to dance, I am free to live for You, I am free to live for You, I am free I am free…I am free to dance, I am free to dance, I am free to live for You, I am free to live for You, I am free I am free” It’s on u-tube and/or you can google it (don’t ya just love the internet) and find the song . . . Blessings on your day 🙂 PS We are having a revival at our church this week (Tues – Friday) I have not been to a revival in 5 years!! Yipeeeee, thank you Jesus …. Is it a “coincidence” that I am attending a revival while doing this Bible Study…. may the love of God through you and me xoxoxoxox

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