Surrendering the Secret Online Bible Study Week 5

Welcome back to the abortion healing bible study at the Womens Bible Cafe.  We’ve just finished reading week five in Surrendering the Secret by Pat Layton. This week you learned how the enemy uses anger to keep you in bondage and captivity. It’s time to let go of unforgiveness and leave it behind where it belongs. “It’s difficult to look back at your sins and failures, yet they will block your walk with the LORD,” says Pat Layton. If you are having difficulty letting go of your anger, please call the STS leaders or or send them an email. Don’t allow this strong emotion to stop your healing journey.

In your study this week you looked at the 6 keys to understanding forgiveness:

  1. Forgiveness is a decision we make, not a feeling
  2. Forgiveness is for the benefit of the person who forgives.
  3. Trust God to deal with your offenders; He is the ultimate judge.
  4. Forgiveness is releasing the person from your life to make room for peace.
  5. Forgiveness is a commandment from God.
  6. Forgiving ourselves is more difficult than forgiving others.

Source: Surrendering the Secret, Pat Payton

Release your anger and make a commitment to live in peace and joy. Open your heart to the fruits of the Spirit and let them flow from a healed past. It’s time to let go of self-hatred or unforgiveness, and replace it with the truth that you are forgiven in Christ. You are loved. Lay your burdens at the feet of Jesus…accept His perfect love. In the act of accepting the love of Christ, you will understand how God sees you as His Daughter, forgiven and free.

If God can accept this image of you…don’t you think you should accept it too? Are you believing that God is big enough to heal your sins…or do you cling to your past through pride or unbelief. Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.  Lamentations 3:40 NIV “Receive your gift of healing, forgiveness and peace.  Your debt is paid in full the accuser is silenced and you are set free,” writes Pat Layton.

Words from past participants of the STS bible study:

“One of the hardest things about letting go of my anger was…allowing God to replace the answers of my hurting heart. I beat myself up so much and played the “what if” game a lot.  What if I had never had an affair? What if I had trusted God instead of driving myself to the abortion clinic? I’d explode over the smallest things at my family who had no idea I was in such a battle.
Withholding forgiveness held me spiritually and emotionally captive when I replayed what happened with me over and over again in my mind craving a different ending and when I’d have the same story the pain would re-surface. When I finally forgave, I was able to move forward and allow God the freedom to really work on my heart.  To you personally to know my debt is paid in full, the accuser is silenced and I am set free means Amazing grace. I know I don’t deserve the life I’m living out, but I don’t want to live a day without walking under my Savior’s protection. Psalm 103:10a says He does not treat us as our sins deserve. Not once has Jesus treated me like a “murderer” or whatever label the world is quick to slap on me, but instead He has treated me as His daughter, a princess of a King. I know I don’t deserve to be set free from my horrible choice of abortion, but God deserves the chance for others to see Him as the Redeemer He is to me. So I say “yes” to Him with a grateful heart beating in my chest knowing I deserve none of His grace and mercy.” Lelia Chealey STS certified leader in Nebraska…email at or visit

“One of the hardest things about letting go of my anger was letting go of my baby. As long as I continued to punish myself and deny myself joy, I was reminded of the child I never knew. Withholding forgiveness allowed me to reject peace and joy, as I thought of the bad things that happened in my life. Realizing my debt has been paid and connecting the cross with my abortion has been very helpful. I no longer walk with shame and I stopped hating myself. My anger went away as I gave it all to God and stopped carrying my heavy sin. What I did was wrong and I found grace and mercy through my faith. I thank Jesus for the life he gave and the life he saved.” Denise, past participant


Your journey continues this week. Start by viewing the video for session six (optional due to the cost) and then complete the exercises in Session Six of your Surrendering the Secret Learners Guide

Imagine you are at the foot of the cross and you’ve handed over your sin to the Savior and Redeemer. Write a letter and journal your feelings about your abortion as it relates to the cross. What does it mean to you personally to know your debt is paid in full, the accuser is silenced and you are set free?


During this abortion recovery bible study, we encourage you to pray for one another and for the leaders of the study. Please post a prayer request or praise report below, or visit the Prayer Wall.

Pat Layton Quotes

  • The process of working through anger can be exhausting.
  • Put the burden of resentment in God’s hands.
  • God commands forgiveness for our benefit.

Group Discussion Questions

God will comfort you in the heart and voices of other women who share this journey. For confidentiality, we’ve created an anonymous email address for use during this bible study. Please use the same nickname throughout the study and use the email if you want to remain anonymous and keep your comments confidential.

  1. Finish the sentence: One of the hardest things about letting go of my anger is….
  2. How has withholding forgiveness held you spiritually and emotionally captive?
  3. What does it mean to you personally to know your debt is paid in full, the accuser is silenced and you are set free?
  4. Post a prayer request or tell us how we can support you right now.

If you need additional support for this journey, please contact Carrie Bond from Surrendering the Secret at or 817-629-9435

Author Christine Abraham

Founder and Ministry Director of the Womens Bible Cafe™ since 2009, Christine has led 60+ online Bible Studies for women. She completed a Graduate of Biblical Studies from Liberty University. She’s an inspired writer, Amazon Top Reviewer and Blogger Follow on Facebook

More posts by Christine Abraham

Join the discussion 17 Comments

  • Sue Alice says:

    1. Letting go of my anger….will it always comes back…follows me around all the time.

    2. All the people I really need to forgive have passed on….so what do I do?

    3. I still cannot believe my dedt is made in full.

    • Christine Smith says:

      Write letters to the Sue and work through the anger. The person is still inside your heart and your memories, so you need to revisit the relationship and rewrite your past. Your debt is paid in full, 100%. You are loved.

  • Missy says:

    1. One of the hardest things about letting go of my anger is just like Tristine mentioned above – something coming back and triggering that anger. The same people hurting me over and over again, and in the same ways. It’s hard to let go and move on when it happens this way.
    2. Withholding forgiveness has kept me captive spiritually and emotionally by driving a wedge between myself and God, and myself and the people I am having trouble with forgiving.
    3. To know my debt is paid in full is at times overwhelming. I am in disbelief at times as well. Why me? How can that be? It is truly amazing.
    4. I need prayers to help me to overcome withholding forgiveness – to see why I really hold on to my anger. I pray for all who continue on this journey.

    • Christine Smith says:

      Praying for you to break the stronghold of anger, bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness. Praying for the gentle voice of Jesus to melt into your heart, to stand near, and to comfort you in this situation. It really is OK to let go of the past…to move forward…and to accept your title as Daughter of the King. You are born again in Christ, and deserve to experience all the fruits of the Spirit. You are loved….just look UP.

      But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Gal 5:22-23 NIV

  • evie730 says:

    1. the hardest part of letting go of the anger was admitting that I had it. I surpressed so many emotions in regards to the abortion that I’ve been in denial with it. It was healing, serious healing!

    2. unforgiveness hinders! I finally was truthful about my feelings in regards to the father to God and asked Him to help me. I felt a breakthrough in my spirit. Like a release. at the end of the day he didnt force me to do anything. We were both young and needed some deliverance. I pray now that God bless his life…in a weird way, he helped me take my salvation more seriously.

    3.To know my debt is paid in full is whewww…tissues. Just a blessing to know that our God is faithful! His unconditional love is surreal at times. I am thanking God for the victory. there is now no condemnation to those that are in Christ!

    4. Continue to keep my mom covered in prayer. That God will have her come home from rehab next week and they she will enjoy the rest of the year with peace, health, and prosperity! Also, thanks Christne for doing this bible study on such a taboo topic. May God bless you so you dont have room enough to receive in Jesus name!

    • Christine Smith says:

      Beautiful Evie, as you surrender to grace and embrace the love the LORD has for you! Praying for your mom, and thank you for the blessing.

  • Tristine says:

    The hardest thing about letting go of my anger is that something always comes back at me to make me angry. Just when I think I’m over what I was angry about, it resurfaces, or something worse happens, and my anger gets worse and worse and worse! Like right now, I’m watching my mother die before my eyes and I’m heartbroken, frustrated, and angry. I don’t know what to do with this!

    I try not to hold onto unforgiveness. Instead, I try to forgive and then move on. But if the person wronged me over and over and over and I keep forgiving them, I eventually will forgive them but make a decision to remove myself from the relationship. I had to do that with my dad…and it helps me to ultimately forgive the big stuff.

    To know my debt is paid in full is victorious! I just wish I could live in right now.

    I do need prayer. My mom is in the end stages of metastatic breast cancer in her liver. It’s incredibly painful to watch her deteriorate. She’s had a very rough and painful life, and now even in her final days she’s still suffering. I just hate it for her…

  • Sarah says:

    Thank you Christine, I certainly will.

  • Natalie says:

    1. One of the hardest things about letting go of my anger is making the offense seem OK and minimizing the hurt.
    2. Withholding God’s forgiveness from myself has kept me from being close to Him and getting to know Him intimately and personally. It has also kept me from doing the same with the many beautiful people in my life. I keep people at arms length because of unforgiveness
    3. I remember when I finally was able to call the credit card company, pay the remainder of what grew to be a very large balance, and close the account completely. I went to dinner that night with friends to celebrate. It was one of the best nights of my life! How much more so should I be celebrating when an even greater amount of debt has been paid, and not even at my expense! It is also a very humbling thing to know, since I’m fully aware of how unworthy I am to have that
    4. This time around, my unforgiveness has great potential to cause big divisions in my family. It is taking everything in me to keep my mouth shut and smile on. I need help forgiving one person in particular that I’ve only just found has wreaked havoc on my family for years and years. Pray for both of us please

    • Christine Smith says:

      Praying for both of you Natalie. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal to you why you’re holding on to bitterness and anger for this person. Just for a moment, change your view and see the person as God sees him or her. Do you see something different? Look at the situation with spiritual eyes, look to see how Satan may have used this person, and break free from the stronghold this person has over your heart. Imagine that you are standing beside angels in heaven…how would you (and they) view this person from above? Take off the mind of the flesh and see what you cannot see…it is very freeing. Take the scars this person has left inside your heart and give them over to the nail scared hands of Christ. To bear good fruit you need to dig out the weeds…even when they are still growing inside you. You are loved.

  • Sarah says:

    Finish the sentence: One of the hardest things about letting go of my anger is…
    it’s all I’ve know for 18 years.

    How has withholding forgiveness held you spiritually and emotionally captive?
    I am stuck in a cycle of anger, doubt and inability to trust those involved and myself

    What does it mean to you personally to know your debt is paid in full, the accuser is silenced and you are set free?
    unbelievable, amazing, freeing yet still too far away to grab hold of

    Post a prayer request or tell us how we can support you right now.
    I need prayer so I can forgive because God has forgiven me and not let it stay tied into my “feelings”

    • Christine Smith says:

      You may be stuck in not trusting yourself Sarah. As women we’re raised to take charge of our lives and control everything around us, so we become more dependent on self and less dependent on God. When we make a mistake, our inclination is to blame ourselves and not trust ourselves…and then we try to control everyone and everything in our path so it doesnt happen again. The hurt you feel from your abortion is immeasurable in depth and pain…yet it must be given over to Jesus for total healing. Look back at the reasons why you are not letting go of unforgiveness….pray over each one and ask the Holy Spirit to speak to you about this. Forgiving is not forgetting. You’ll still remember your child, you’ll still regret your decision, yet you’ll move past the bondage of shame and self-hate and embrace the love of the King. Please look at page 75 and pray over the reasons for not letting go of anger. You are loved.

  • Sue Alice says:

    1. Were am I going to put all that anger?

    2. I can not let God control my life for anything. I will not give in, I am just a big control freak.

    3. Happy just want to sing and dance for joy.

  • Nicolie says:

    1. admitting that I’m mad. It feels disloyal and like I’m not accepting responsiblility for my own part and just blaming it on others, yet if I do that, I stay angry.
    2. Well, I withhold forgiveness because I refuse to admit I am angry, so until I admit that I’m angry, I cannot forgive. And because I haven’t forgiven, I am held captive in anger that I won’t admit to.
    3. What are the words to describe such an undeserved gift? I feel joy and peace and want to dance and cry and thank Him and I feel weightless.

    • Christine Smith says:

      You’re breaking through and realizing how much anger can be a stronghold in your life. It’s hard to accept that something so tragic as an abortion can be forgiven and even harder to let go of anger towards yourself. Yet it’s important to break this bondage. Staying in anger is accepting the lies from the Devil that you’re the only one responsible for the lost life. Truth is, the devil had his hand in deceiving you and others involved. Truth is, Jesus died on the cross to wash away your sins and forgive you. Accept the greatest love there ever is…the love of the LORD for His Daughter.

      In scripture, David caused the death of another person, and was used by God for great purpose in His kingdom. What if David stayed in anger or unforgiveness? Instead he turned his heart back to God and accepted His blessings and love. Its time to give your burdens of anger and guilt to Jesus and be healed.

    • One of the hardest things about letting go of my anger was that the other people (only one I really blamed, besides myself) didn’t acknowledge the offense or even ask forgiveness specicifally for this. My anger which I held inside couldn’t be let go of because “he just didn’t get it.!” But God through His Word said to me, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.” I took the step of trusting God with the outcome for others , realizing that my anger was only eating me up, not helping them to “get it.” God has brought healing and even brought me to a place where I want good for them (him) not evil! That is peace and that is freedom!
      “Forgiveness liberates the soul. It eliminates fear!. That is why it is such a powerful WEAPON! ” —from movie INVICTUS— Forgiveness is a weapon! GOD you knew this all along. Your forgiveness of me is my greatest weapon against my enemy! Thank You!

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