Surrendering the Secret Online Bible Study Week 6

Welcome back to the abortion healing bible study at the Womens Bible Cafe.  We’ve just finished reading week six in Surrendering the Secret by Pat Layton. You’ve come so far on this healing journey as you’ve shared the secret, walked in truth, confronted your anger and opened the doors to forgiveness. This week you discovered a grief you never felt entitled to heal. You also wrote a letter to your unborn child or children and released buckets of tears. For some, you may have even learned the names of your unborn children or caught a glimpse of them through your prayers. What an amazing experience it would be to sit beside you all in a room and share your stories of healing from abortion.

Inside your book  is a scripture list called “Who Am I?” These 31 verses are based on truth. Most likely, since you made the choice to abort your child you have been telling yourself lies based on guilt, shame, anger and hurt. You’ve got to filter out these lies and replace them with truth of who God says you are. If you struggle with accepting yourself as a Daughter of the King, then copy this list of verses and pray one verse each day. Personalize the verse by inserting your name. Let go of the lies that keep you in bondage and embrace truth as a blessing from God. Remember these important words from the bible:

Your life is a journey you must travel with a deep consciousness of God. It cost God plenty to get you out of that dead-end, empty-headed life you grew up in. He paid with Christ’s sacred blood, you know. He died like an unblemished, sacrificial lamb. And this was no afterthought. Even though it has only lately—at the end of the ages—become public knowledge, God always knew he was going to do this for you. It’s because of this sacrificed Messiah, whom God then raised from the dead and glorified, that you trust God, that you know you have a future in God.  1 Peter 1:18-19 Message

 He does not punish us for all our sins; he does not deal harshly with us, as we deserve. Psalm 103:10 NLT

Words from past participants of the STS bible study:

“Before this healing journey, I wasn’t at all aware of how much shame and hiding were operating forces in my life.  That’s one of the reasons I was so jolted by my daughter’s statement after telling her of my abortion; “Mom this just explains so  much!” Overprotection of my children, fear of losing them as punishment, hiding, and working very hard to be a good person, mother and to please God were paramount in my life. I realize that abortion cost be so much.  I lost the chance to know this precious child, to know myself as one who didn’t cower in fear and cover my sin with yet another sin.  I spent so many years in regret, blame and wishing I could go back and change my actions.  After writng my letter to my unborn child I felt NO condemnation but love and peace.  I saw in my mind a young man praying for me, his mother…a pleasant look on his face.  I named him Christopher and believe God confirmed that name.  Christopher means “Christ bearer”.  My husband and I did the StheS Bible study together and at this part we both cried over what just never should’ve happened.  We would have made it.  AND we’d have and know our grown son. We have forgiven each other .  Without this Bible study’s guide and sharing this journey together we’d still be stuck in unexpressed unforgiveness.   I take comfort in the Ps 103:10 verse that declares the goodness of our LORD who does not punish us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.”   And HE is the ‘parent’ who has raised our unborn children.  Thanking HIM for blessing instead of shame, power instead of fear!”   — Tricia Heflin, former StheS participant.  Current Leader and Natl Trainer

“Before starting my abortion healing I experienced sadness, frustration, shame and denial. I convinced myself to think I had a miscarriage every time I thought of what I had done.  I missed out on not only the life of my child, but giving God an opportunity to be Himself–simply amazing and a miracle worker. After writing the letter to my unborn child, I felt I gave myself permission to grieve and a peace foreign to me. Also, I felt free from Satan’s grip. I felt ready to go forward no matter what came my way. I felt a love for God and my baby I had never felt before.” Lelia Chealey STS certified leader in Nebraska…email at or visit

“Before I did the STS bible study I was angry, bitter, resentful, shamed and insecure. This study helped me release these emotions and accept my identity in Christ. Some of the losses I experienced from my abortion included the missed opportunity to raise my child, a destroyed relationship with the child’s father whom I loved, feelings of self-hate and feelings of anger. In my shame I married someone who would make me miserable because I did not deserve a good man for what I had done. I punished myself and denied myself happiness. I still remember when I wrote that letter to my child and how I finally connected with her. In my grief God told me her name is Grace. I remember each year after my abortion I would count her birthday, the time she turned 16, the time she turned 18, and then I stopped counting the years. I realize how long I had been grieving someone I knew in my heart and not in physical appearance. Once I knew her name I felt peace and connected to her in a way I never felt before.” Denise, past participant


Your journey continues this week. Start by viewing the video for session seven (optional due to the cost) and then complete the exercises in Session Seven of your Surrendering the Secret Learners Guide


During this abortion recovery bible study, we encourage you to pray for one another and for the leaders of the study. Please post a prayer request or praise report below, or visit the Prayer Wall.

Pat Layton Quotes

  • The post-abortive woman must be given permission to grieve and acknowledge her loss.
  • The healing journey requires us to trust God.
  • God’s love is lavished on those who place their faith in Jesus.
  • Fear has changed to courage and strength has replaced shame.

Group Discussion Questions

God will comfort you in the heart and voices of other women who share this journey. For confidentiality, we’ve created an anonymous email address for use during this bible study. Please use the same nickname throughout the study and use the email if you want to remain anonymous and keep your comments confidential.

  1. What are some of the emotions, characteristics or behaviors you experienced before starting your abortion healing?
  2. What are some of the losses your abortion has taken away or never allowed you to experience?
  3. After writing a letter to your unborn child or children, what was your reaction or experience?
  4. Post a prayer request or tell us how we can support you right now.

If you need additional support for this journey, please contact Carrie Bond from Surrendering the Secret at or 817-629-9435



Author Christine Abraham

Founder and Ministry Director of the Womens Bible Cafe™ since 2009, Christine has led 60+ online Bible Studies for women. She completed a Graduate of Biblical Studies from Liberty University. She's an inspired writer, Amazon Top Reviewer and Blogger Follow on Facebook

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Join the discussion 2 Comments

  • Tristine says:

    No one has responded to last week’s study? Well, I’m a week late because my mother passed away on May 27th. I’ve been busy with funeral arrangements and things of that nature. So I’m sorry I’m so late. I also noticed that this week’s session wasn’t posted???

    Anyway, here are my answers to last week’s questions:

    What are some of the emotions, characteristics or behaviors you experienced before starting your abortion healing? I started my healing years ago, back in 1998 when I got saved. However, prior to that, I was a mess, emotionally, physically, and mentally. I was self-destructive, suicidal, a drug addict, alcoholic, and led a very promiscuous life. I find that odd, considering I hated being sexually intimate most of the time. Go figure. I lashed out a lot, continued in one abusive relationship after another. And eventually discovered that I was punishing myself.

    What are some of the losses your abortion has taken away or never allowed you to experience? Every year I consider what my life would have been like with them. I always wanted a big family, so now I don’t have that. I now have a huge gap between my sons–26 years–and it’s sometimes difficult to get my older son to be a part of our family now. So that, to me, is a huge loss. And he has always resented me for my abortions, because he wanted brothers and sisters. Now is just too late.

    After writing a letter to your unborn child or children, what was your reaction or experience? I did this exercise at Rachel’s Vineyard, and it was revealing, refreshing, and redeeming. I wrote them months ago asking them to wait for my mother and to find my mother’s aborted child, too. Now they are all together, just as I prayed.

    • Christine Smith says:

      We haven’t posted this week’s session yet…it will be later today. Spiritual warfare.

      What a great testimony you have from a prodigal daughter to a Daughter of the King. You are loved!

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