Lies Women Believe Online Bible Study Week 5

The Bible Cafe is open again as we discuss week five of Lies Women Believe by Nancy Leigh DeMoss.  I’m looking forward to the group discussion for this lesson because your season of life will impact how you answer the questions on priorities. Single women, married women, college students, single moms, grandmas and empty nesters all have different priorities. Women who are caretakers for their spouses or special needs children have different priorities. College and single women exploring the dating field have different priorities. One priority we all have in common is our need for time with God.

This week we examined our hearts and saw how our schedule and daily activities reflect our values. We had a chance to re-examine them and see if they’re in alignment with scripture. Pray and ask God what His will is for your life.  If you are home caring for someone in need, know that this is a season God has placed into your schedule. If you are attending college and challenged by the exams and secular environment, know that this is a season God has placed into your schedule. If you are working outside the home to provide for your family, know that this is a season God has placed into your schedule. Seasons can and will change. Through these seasons we discover Christ and who we are in Him.

No matter the season, it is imperative that you place God first in your life. Place God first before your spouse, children, education, career and ministry or missionary work. Place God first in your daily schedule and include him in your “to-do” list as you schedule bible study and prayer time with Him. Believe it or not…each and everyday Jesus is sitting beside you waiting for your attention. He waits for you to talk to him as a friend, spouse, mentor, teacher and more.  He sees you in your daily schedule…my question is…do you see Him?

If you read Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver then you learned that Martha is the woman who takes on every role and task, and misses the opportunity to sit at the feet of Jesus. “She is the original Martha Stewart, the New Testament’s Proverbs 31 woman, and Israel’s answer to Betty Crocker,” writes Weaver. Her busyness keeps her from her intimacy with God. Mary prioritized her time and knew when to sit and be still. “ The story of Mary and Martha was never meant to be a psychological profile or a role play in which we choose the character with whom we most identify. It’s the story of two different responses to one singular occasion. In it, we should not find our personality type, but the kind of heart Christ longs for us to have. A heart centered in him alone.”  Joanna Weaver

I enjoyed the lesson this week because it confirmed many decisions I’ve made in my life. For example, after attending a Family Life Conference on Marriage where priorities were examined, my husband and I decided to sell our dream home and downsize. We gave up luxuries and settled for comfort instead. Reading the book Your Money or Your Life by Joe Dominquez helped me understand the value of parenting vs the cost of working. I shifted my priorities and worked from home to supplement my husband’s income, raise my children and make time for ministry. During this time my daughter was diagnosed with special needs and I had the time to be accessible to her and flexible with my schedule. Although I miss the luxurious home, house cleaner, nanny and gardener- I value the time with my children, husband and Jesus even more. When the children complain about how we live now we remind them “we love you more than money.” Once we lived beyond our means and now we are living within the budget God has created for our family. Attending Financial Peace University by Dave Ramsey helps us live within our means.

Adjust your priorities. Make room for God and you’ll have no regrets that you put Him first. Nancy reminds us to “ask God what adjustments He wants you to make in your schedule, so that you can be sure you are glorifying Him and fulfilling His agenda for your life.”

Quotes From Nancy Leigh DeMoss

  • Frustration is the by-product of attempting to fulfill responsibilities God does not intend for us to carry.
  • The essence of Satan’s deception is that we can live our lives independently of God.
  • If I walk in pride I must be prepared for God to resist me and my efforts.
  • It is always possible to live according to the Truth if we want to.

Prayer Requests

Our Prayer Wall is the place to reach out with your prayer needs and praise reports. Please visit the page and pray for those people who are asking for you to lift them up in prayer.

For Next Week

  • Pray for the women who are doing this study with you.
  • Read Chapter Six in your book and companion guide.
  • Look at the list of Key Resources on page 269 for topics addressed in this book
  • Check in with your Small Group Leader

Group Discussion- Answer ONE question or as many as you like

  1. Why do you think women take on more responsibilities than God intends for them to have?
  2. What do you need to do in order to go to bed each night and say “Today I finished the work that the Lord gave me to do?”
  3. Why do you think prayer was such a  priority for Jesus?
  4. Share your thoughts about this week’s lesson.

Have a great week…share what you are learning with others as you grow in truth!

God is good…always!


Author Christine Abraham

Founder and Ministry Director of the Womens Bible Cafe™ since 2009, Christine has led 60+ online Bible Studies for women. She completed a Graduate of Biblical Studies from Liberty University. She's an inspired writer, Amazon Top Reviewer and Blogger Follow on Facebook

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Join the discussion 54 Comments

  • Jennifer D says:

    4. Share your thoughts about this week’s lesson.
    I believe that after 20 some years we are rock solid as a team. I realized that from the beginning of our we were a team. We do have different interest on some things. We still conflicts, but we work though them.

  • Natasha says:

    I believe the reason women are doing more than God has called them to is because we value and seek the good opinion of others over God. We try to impress. We try to be Superwomen. Or maybe we feel empty inside and look for busyness and accolades to fill us. Sometimes people seek activity as a means to avoid self-reflection….

  • Melissa says:

    Why do you think women take on more responsibilities than God intends for them to have?

    This question is the reason I am doing this Bible Study. The quote below grabbed me:

    Her busyness keeps her from her intimacy with God.

    I am hoping this bible study will help me take a step back and help me focus on God.

    I take on too many responsibilities to prove what a good mother I can be even though I work outside of the home 4 days a week. I know that I am a good mother and I have to stop worrying about what others think of me. I need to focus on God and then my family. This is my validation.

    Even though I am behind as usual, I have taken this study to heart and I have started to back off on some of my responsibilities.

  • Carin says:

    Why do you think women take on more responsibilities than God intends for them to have?

    My husband & I are doing Financial Peace University. It clicked to me that women today take on more because we have tried to either keep up with the neighbor’s or just gotten ourselves in high debt so with this cycle it is normal for a women to work. Then we spin this wheel of getting out of debt. My husband and I don’t have children & I know I am busy helping my husband with his company while holding a full time job somewhere else. Even with no children it is a balancing act.

    What do you need to do in order to go to bed each night and say “Today I finished the work that the Lord gave me to do?”
    This is a really good question. Did I witness to someone today? Did I shine a light to darkness? Did I look for the work that God gave me or did I just go on doing my normal tasks? I need to ask myself this more…

    Why do you think prayer was such a priority for Jesus?
    That is how he connected to God. We need to do the same.

    Share your thoughts about this week’s lesson.
    I am thankful for this on-line café. I have been doing it for (I think) a couple of years. It keeps me accountable and in the word daily. I pray that others get hooked into this routine. I do mine in the morning because I am a morning person. God speaks to me a lot in these studies and it has completely changed my life!

  • Jennifer D says:

    4. Share your thoughts about this week’s lesson. On page 116 in the middle where it says, I am woman. I am invincible, I am tired. I agree with that statement because its true. We put too much on our self’s, we have to remember to ask for help when necessary, lean on the family, don’t try to do all in one day, take time out for our self’s.

  • Andi says:

    I think a lot of women (including myself) take on so much because of fear. At least this is why I have done it. It’s hard to sit back and let everything blow up. It’s much easier to be stressed out to the max and know that we are in control. Yes this is where we are wrong. We aren’t in control, God is. Now is sit and wonder how much I am missing out on by stepping up and taking control.

    I think Jesus prayed so much for His relationship with the Father. He was in constant fellowship with Him and He left all that for us. He must have had the same longings (a small void) that we have. In order to keep His priorities straight and not the let the world fill the void it was essential that He spoke with God often.

  • Lisa says:

    I have gotten behind in the study, but I am determined to finish. This week’s study spoke volumes to me. At the beginning of this entire study, we were asked what season of life we are currently in. At the time, I wrote “unsettled”, because I did not know where God wanted me to go next. He spoke to me loud and clear this week. I have been working very hard for the past 2 years to rearrange my priority list so that God is first, my husband is second, my children are third, others are forth, and I am fifth. God is leading me to a less stressful job and way of life on a little island in the Puget Sound.

  • Ruth says:

    1.Why do you think women take on more responsibilities than God intends for them to have? I believe it’s because they are not listening to God. Also because it is every where you look, on tv, in the books and magazines we read, our conversations with friends, we can do it all, and if you don’t there’s something wrong with you. Talk show hosts and their guests make you feel inferior if you don’t have a job outside the home, like you’re wasting your time if you decide to stay at home to look after your children. It’s the same peer pressure most of us felt growing up, only on a different level.
    2.What do you need to do in order to go to bed each night and say “Today I finished the work that the Lord gave me to do?” I need to get up every day and spend the first part of the day with God, reading His word, talking to Him and most importantly listening to Him. I’m not perfect though, it doesn’t always happen that way every day, but I’m striving to that goal. It’s getting much better, and this Bible study has really helped me to get closer to my goal.
    3.Why do you think prayer was such a priority for Jesus? Prayer kept Jesus in touch with God, He knew that in order to do His work here on earth, He needed to stay connected to God. The same way we should be connected to God so that we can do the work God gives us to do.
    4.Share your thoughts about this week’s lesson. I am an empty nester now, like several other women here. I can look back now and see the mistakes I’d made and hopefully learn from them. I’ve gone through many different seasons in my life – single teenage mother, married, full-time worker outside the home with children in various childcare situations, full-time stay at home mom, homeschooler, then back to a part-time job with teenage daughters going to charter school. Now I am a stay at home, disabled, empty nester with a lot of free time. I’d like to say that I spend a lot of time in the Word and communing with God, but that’s not always the case. There are alot of distractions – the phone, tv, internet, hobbies. I wouldn’t change any of my past experiences, because God has used them all, even during the times I wasn’t following Him, to mold me and make me into the person He wants me to be. Right now He is using me ( and my husband) to teach our 2 yr old grand daughter about God. And He is using me through my illnesses to help encourage other women. He wants to use every single one of us, He has a plan for us. This verse just came to me, and I think God wants us all to know this:
    Ephesians 2:10: For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (New Living Translation)
    God says we are His MASTERPIECE, can you imagine it? If He says that, then we should start thinking that of ourselves.

  • Amy says:

    After reading this weeks chapter I am feeling affirmed in my decision to stay home with my children. It’s hard because I used to make my career my identity and some times I feel like my role as a stay at home mom is not as powerful or glamorous as my old career. Then I think about when I was a little girl and the only thing I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a mom. I have guilt that I don’t always do it right, like right now when my kids are downstairs watching tv while I am hiding in my room reading :). We just all try our best and I think starting each day admitting to God we can’t do it alone and that we need him to guide us through every day helps. I have a magnet on my fridge that says ” a good mom may mean dirty floors but happy children”. I love my job as a mom and wouldn’t trade it for any other job out there!

  • Cari says:

    This week’s lesson was great….especially as a stay at home mom who want to be able to work outside the home, but knows, there is a greater sacrifice here. “Faith will come, Faith will grow”….and it does. In the word, in praise, in prayer and meditation….It does grow. I think too many American women think they need to keep up with the “Jone’s”. I, on the other hand, struggle with just keeping up with Cari. My priorities are to keep God first, my family second, others third and so on. In doing so, I think God’s will is being done in my life. And what a blessing it has become. The toughest job you’ll ever love, is being a mom/wife.

    • Lori says:

      And you never will regret it!! I promise. Who comes to the end of their life and says “Gee I sure wish I would have worked more”.. But many, many come to the end of their life and say” Gee I wish I had spent more time with my children”. I have a non believer friend who is experiencing this right now. She worked from the time her children were born until now–and now they are grown and moved out. She does not have a close relationship with them at all. Guilt is now her constant companion. You cannot get back that time. Unfortunately society places enormous attention on the working mother and how you can do it all and be successful, blah, blah , blah. It is a lie, ladies. It is a lie. I have never regretted leaving my job. Never. My children are wonderful, well adjusted adults. And I have a very close relationship with them. You MUST sow it now if you wish to reap it later. I wish more young women were like you Cari and saw the bigger picture! I just cant stop preaching this truth.

  • Lori says:

    I’m not going to answer the questions but am going to briefly share my story. My husband and I met and married in college. After college, we both obtained good jobs-he a policeman and me a teacher. Making money and having a career was our priority. Then, our son was born. And everything changed. I still tried to do it all. But our son was sickly, and I was tired. My health suffered. My job suffered. My child suffered. My marriage suffered. Still I pressed on believing that lie that you can do it all, you can have it all. Then our second son was born. Guilt became my constant companion. Fatigue, half jobs, black bags under my eyes–I should be able to do it all. Everyone else did–right? I began to feel more and more that I should quit my job and stay home with our children. My husband vehemently opposed this. He said we could never survive on one salary. Things continued to suffer. Plus the principal of my school began to ride me and tell me I was doing a bad job. One day, I snapped. I couldn’t do it all. I was sick, I was tired , and no one including me ever got 100%. I would never tell any woman to do what I did but one day, I just quit. I left my job–against my husbands wishes. At that point , I didn’t care. Something was going to give and it was going to be my sanity. The day I left my job was the best day of my life. Yes, my husband was plenty angry with me but I felt an enormous burden lift. I didn’t know how we would make it financially but I felt that if we just trusted God. And He did provide. Through a series of events my husband was able to open up a small business as a part time job which brought in enough money to compensate for the loss of my income. We learned to live with less( which was easy for me since I had grown up poor–harder for my husband who had grown up with much). A year later my youngest son was diagnosed with Autism and our daughter was born. Those were hard, hard years. Thank God, He knew I needed to be with my children and they needed all of me not just half. I stayed home for 18 years with them. I have NEVER regretted that decision. Except for my son with autism , my other children have grown up and left home. I would urge any young mothers out there to examine their motives and prayerfully consider raising your own children, if possible. No one can raise your children like you. No one else can give them what you can. God knows that and I assure you He will provide for you to stay home. You might not have a new car or new clothes or new anything, but your kids don’t care about that. Your time with them is short and is worth more than any of those material things.Take if from one who made that decision and never looked back.

  • June says:

    2. When I wake up in the morning, thank the Lord for another day and ask for guidance and wisdom. Make time to read and study the word and pray daily.
    3. Prayer was such a priority for Jesus because he knew where to get his guidance from…His Father.
    4. It was sad to read the statistics that are affecting the family today. How important it is for young women today to seek God and pray for a good mate so that she will be able to fulfill God’s perfect plan and his timing in different stages for her life and not get caught up in the lies of the enemy. Unfortunately in the world today the enemy starts in women’s lives so young.

  • Kim says:

    3. Prayer was such a priority for Jesus, because it kept him focused on what it was that God wanted him to do. This is something that I need to make more of a priority. Although I pray, I often find myself asking how other’s can “hear” God’s response to their prayers. It seems that I need him to have a 2 x 4 and a PA system before I have an inkling of what it is he wants for me. I need to make more of an effort to take time to settle down and listen as I pray — not hurriedly go through the words so I can get on to my next thing. I’m praying that I can have the diligence to build this into my pattern of life at the beginning of the day rather than the end when I’m already spent.

  • Susie C. says:

    1) Society has made us feel like we have to have a husband, 2.5 kids, 2 cars, a dog, a cat, full time job, children that are involved in many activities that we cart them to, dinner that we cook every night, exercise 4 times a week, be skinny, keep a clean house, etc. It makes me tired just typing it! It is ridiculous what society has done to woman. Just going through the check out line at the grocery store is enough to make you feel like you are not living up to what is expected of you by society’s standards. As they say in one of my daughter’s favorite movies “No Mas” – “No more!”. We need to ban together as women and set the new standard!
    2) I think I need to have more alone time with God each day in order to feel his guidance. If I feel his guidance every day I think I can go to bed each night knowing that I have done what I am supposed to do.

  • On page 63 of the Companion Guide Nancy writes “Several of the topics that are addressed in these chapters are “hot potatoes”– issues where the teaching of God’s Word flies in the face of what is politically correct. The intent of this study is not to stir up controversy but to challenge women to evaluate every area of their lives in light of scripture.”

    As you read through the lessons, ask the Lord how to apply this to your OWN life. Search scripture and see where the Holy Spirit leads you or convicts you. Read the verse aloud, look at each word individually and ask “how does this apply to me?” Let go of black and white thinking and embrace Spirit-centered thinking. Let the Spirit lead you through the study. 🙂

  • Carol says:

    We believe the lie that we can do everything because we are the modern day super-woman, and magazines, TV, radio, etc. tells us we can and when we can’t we feel inept. It was a season in my life when I was working, and I prayed about it but God had other plans for me even though I wanted to stay-at-home. I had two special needs adoptive children that had extreme problems which needed extra help – tutoring, Christian counseling, etc. which took money.

    The season of life is an empty nester. I had to make a schedule for myself because I wasn’t getting things done and believe it or not I am busy. But now, I believe this study has open my eyes to having more godly priorities. Since I have been in this bible study, I have done a 360-degree turn. I have morning bible study or if I can do it in the morning, I find time throughout the day. I pray when I go hiking with my dog and husband. I have been listening more to Christian music and speakers on Christian radio and the computer. I am so joyous because it has made a difference in my life. I want to get involved in ministry again. But I sometimes struggle to get some things done and I have decided to be in prayer about the things that are most important to God. I believe that is the key when we align ourshelves to God’s will for our lives.

    Prayer was the mortar that gave him a firm foundation for his daily life. It gave him strength, encouragement, joy, comfort, hope, etc. to do the will of the Father. It is truly amazing to me how much he had accomplished in his short lifetime, and always points to the fact that he started each day with prayer.

    When we embrace the Truth and establish our priorities and schedules around it, we experience true liberation. (Page 126)

    A couple of years ago, I received this book from a dear friend. At that time, I was apathetic and I stored it away in a box. When I found out they were having this bible study on-line, I was a miner looking for buried treasure and prayed to God to find it for me. He did and I am grateful!

    • Lori says:

      Carol I am an empty Nester too as my last child is leaving for the air force in just a few months. I am struggling with the same things. Let’s lift one another up!

      • Carol says:

        Hi Lori,

        I just got back and starting to look at the responses. I am sorry for the lateness of my answer. I will be praying for you, too!

  • Connie - Arkansas says:

    1. I believe guilt runs our lives as women – and it is an easy lie to fall prey to – the church, the school, the neighborhood, the etc…..needs you. We also take on the martydom aspect of womanhood – I am woman, I can accomplish it all – exactly as Nancy wrote it. And then there is more guilt, because we can see the half-way done projects, household, family……
    3. I think constant communion with the Father was the key to Jesus’ staying on task in the short time He was on earth. And prayer & study should be our top priority in order to answer #2.
    2. When I spend time in the morning with the Lord, and don’t allow the distractions of the household to steal from me, I can hear more clearly when He speaks throughout the day. I also can call on His peace and am able to meet the circumstances that come my way.
    4. This week’s lesson really hit hard for me. I have been the Martha (done the study of the Mary Heart in a Martha World) and I know that when I see the Lord face to face, I want Him to say “Well done” more than “those deeds were wood, hay & stubble” Life is ever changing – God is not & I need to be grounded daily and refilled with the Holy Spirit daily because I certainly leak alot!
    LOVED the prayer at the end of the chapter too.

  • Maureen says:

    1.Why do you think women take on more responsibilities than God intends for them to have? I guess we are “taught” to do that from our society. I have trouble giving up control of things, that is why I feel stress about the things I think I need to do.
    3.Why do you think prayer was such a priority for Jesus? Prayt is communcation with God so it is very important. I was tempted to skip the section on “I can make it without consistent time in the Word and prayer” (because I thought for a minute I was “good enough” in that area since I do have a quiet time daily)but I read it and realized I may do it as a duty and so I don’t feel guilty for not doing something that I know is important. Do I really “inquire” of God every day? No, but I want to.

  • Nickie says:

    1. For myself I just feel like it is all my job. I dont work but I just do what is expected of me to do. My house is never clean enough, I never spend enough time with the kids, the more I give the more they want. I need to let God be my copiolet. I am alway tiried and run down.
    3. Prayer is such a person time with the Lord. I feel that Jesus was one with the Lord and that is how we are suppost to be. I need to rekindle my relationship with God. Put him first about everything in my life and let him guide my ways. It takes obedience on my part.

  • RUTH C says:

    PSALM 119:165 You give peace of mind to all who love your Law. Nothing can make them fall. This week I was remind that we need to spend time in the word of God.

  • Jean says:

    As I read through some of these comments, the scripture comes to mind, “Seek Ye FIRST the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and ALL these things will be added.” The “things” added also include the time to do what we need, the setting of priorities and the letting go of what we didn’t get accomplished for the day. I don’t think our day should be task oriented necessarily. Of course, we do have priorities, but as we put God first, HE directs our steps and that includes what He wants us to do each day and the setting of what absolutely has to be done for that day. I find that at times even if I don’t get done what I set out to for that day, sometimes I see later it was a blessing in disguise that I didn’t get that one particular thing done as God had a better plan for it later on. I think we just have to trust each day to God’s plan and not fret about what didn’t get done. He isn’t up there with a big score board checking off each task we accomplish. Be led of the Spirit! Trust that He is guiding each day and submit the rest to Him. I think we put too much pressure on ourselves and that does not come from God. Keep your eyes focused on Him each and every day and then the peace will come. He is taking care of what needs to be taken care of.

  • Lane says:

    I appreciate Erica’s comments above. Not having any theology training, i tend to not see some of the concerns she mentioned, which i wish i would be more cognizant of, and make sure what i read is in alignment with the scripture. I realize the opening statements on “eve” are not biblical, but i like to see how she might have related to us in present day. So, i enjoy the attempt to connect the past to our present. I will admit, my favorite part of this book is the scriptural connection, because God’s Word is really all we need, and when you see His Words as they relate to our issues, it makes perfect sense. We just need constant reminders. With the questions for this week:
    I think we tend to feel we have to do it all b/c of the freedom we have been given over time by the secular world, often causing us to forget God’s commandments specifically to us women. We are bombarded day and night by pressures that come to us (TV, Internet ads, magazines, friends etc…), whereas with the Word, we must seek it and purposefully read it.
    I think before i go to bed, i must periodically stop in the day (not saying i am doing it at the moment), and say, “am i doing God’s will for me today?” I don’t believe in marking off “the list” (except for groceries), because you will miss the point of the day, the point of living and will be disappointed from a worldly “list”. I always try to pray for the day before i let myself get out of bed. I find that helps with the start. I just need to do that at lunch, before picking up my kids, and definately before closing my eyes.

  • Tara says:

    1. I think we take on more responsibilites than God intends us to have because we tend to listen to society that tells us to “be more and do more”.
    2. In order to go to bed each night knowing that I completed the work God gave me, I need to spend time with him in his word and care for my family.
    3. I think prayer was such a priority for Jesus because it allowed him to learn God’s will for his purpose and gave him time with the Father to slow down and be at peace.
    4. I had a difficult time with this week’s lesson, not for myself but for my daughter. In my current season, it is almost easy to reorder my priorities to include caring for a home and family. However, I’m unsure after reading this how to raise a daughter to do the same without causing her to be dependent on men or marriage as an “answer” or closed off to marriage altogether. As a military wife, I am very aware that I may need to support a family if necessary and so have a career that I put on hold. Should I be encouraging her to pursue a career? Will encouraging her to be independent of a romantic relationship impede God’s will for her? Or should I simply encourage her to live in God’s word and let him solve the details? This was a little more difficult to read since I’m not sure how to guide her based on my own experiences.

    • Interesting perspective Tara. I am raising two daughters and my focus has been “live for God.” So if God calls them into a career, then live for Him. If God calls them into marriage, then live for Him. If God calls them into ministry, then live for Him. I’ve never considered teaching them roles because I’ve focused on teaching them to trust God and let Him lead. They need to use the gifts God has equipped them with, to serve His kingdom on earth. I heard a friend tell her children “go to college, have a career and enjoy life before you have kids.” The message is on self, not on God. So be careful with your words, may they be pleasing to God.

  • Kelly says:

    I used to believe that I could do it all and that I had to do it all to impress others. After ten years of being miserable doing things that brought me no joy and only anger, I finally found the courage to say no and to not feel guilty about it. What an empowering feeling! I am so thankful that God brought me to this place in my life of being empowered to choose who and what receives my time.

  • Trista says:

    As a women who works outside of the home I feel all of these pressures to make everyone else happy. My coworkers, friends, and my children. I work 10-12 hrs a day and on my days off I have all of these chores to get done. I feel as though my children are suffering. I feel like I get no quality time with them. I guess I just need to pray about it more. Personally, this chapter made me feel guilty for working outside of the home.

  • Ginger says:

    Just like us, Jesus needed encouragement for the incredible task he was set forth to do. Being of the flesh, he had to resist the temptations of the flesh. Imagine that! Yet, he did it. He also had a relationship with God, that included regular, two-sided communication (talking & listening). That is what God desires from us, as well.

  • Sista Sarita says:

    I m not crazy about this book. I skim the chapter and spend most of my time on the end of the chapter. I was two weeks behind and caught up with this speed reading technique. I get more from the scripture. I’ve been rushing the results of my life for a long time. Sitting still and listening to God is a major challenge. It almost causes anxiety. The verses in Matthew 6 are a tremendous help. Jesus knows the importance of constant communication with the Father. In the least it prevents worry and anxiety… The Word is living and active – no doubt!

    • It takes one hour to read a chapter in this book without speed reading. Pray into this and ask the Lord to remove any fear, frustration or distractions. Rebuke the enemy and make sure he is not the one keeping you from going deeper into the study. Then read the chapter with a prayerful heart and let God speak. He may convict you of something. As Nancy said in the beginning of the book, you do not need to agree with her on all these issues. Align them with scripture as you are doing and let God convict you.

    • Erica says:

      Sista Sarita, I also am not crazy about this book. I have been disciplined with the study, determined that if nothing else, I will have a deeper understanding of my peers. While I was in college, I was a science/math major, but spent enough time studying theology to have a minor degree in the field. I find this book to be under-explored, light on scriptural content, and generally presumptive. Nancy Leigh DeMoss takes a lot of license by imposing modern cultural feminine ideals upon Eve, who would more likely have fit the mold of a woman in the Middle East or Northern Africa 6000 years ago, if you’re following literal scripture. While she was the first woman, her heiresses would be unenlightened and enslaved (considered property and used for bargaining). We could then deduce that Eve would not have been enlightened or liberated. Furthermore, she would have spent her life with the knowledge that she was a gift to Adam, from God! In Eve’s mind, her reason for existence was to serve God, who left her to service Adam. She would have certainly been more submissive than a modern woman. Historical context of scripture tells us much more than the prose alone. One of the first things theologians learn, is to understand the historical setting of the story, as to better understand the context. There is more than meets the eye.

      While I find the writing in this book to be black-and-white, repetitive, and under-explored. The general idea is one that I am able to extract upon and explore. This book reads more as a self-help book with a Christian slant, and less like a Bible study.

      This week, however, I found truth in the fact that I go to bed feeling I haven’t “finished.” It will never finish. Laundry will always be here. Dishes will dirty again. I will still need to complete my volunteer commitments, work, writing, reading, prayer, cleaning, parenting, time with my husband, etc. But, as a woman, it was nice to be reminded of what is God’s list, and what is my list. While God may not specify that I must clean my home, He did call me to parent four of His beautiful children, and part of parenting is providing a safe and loving environment to allow them to flourish, for example. When the end goal is kept in mind, the dishes can probably wait until the kids are in bed so I can spend some quiet time reading to my children and listening while they share their daily experiences. However, in the context of completing God’s task for me, I don’t expect to finish. When He is finished with this vessel, He will call me home. Until then, I expect to feel busy with His bidding. We aren’t expected to like every moment, but we are expected to find His joy in our task, even if it is cleaning the toilets for the 40,000th time. With that in mind, I can go to bed with a new checklist. Did I love my children? Did I love and honor my husband? Did I serve God’s wishes? Dirty dishes or not, I should theoretically be able to sleep knowing I served my purpose for today. That is, if the baby will let me.

      • Lynn says:

        ErIca and sista sarita, I want to thank you for all the comments. I can’t say I’m particularly enamored with this book either. Definitely wouldn’t have been one I choose for myself:-) Erica, your last paragraph really helped to push me to stay with this study! I have felt so down that I’m such a failure based on all the “lies” I’ve believed. But then you said to remember God’s list. And that when He is finished with us we will be called home. For some reason this really struck me. I need to forget what everyone else thinks and focus on what God wants from me. Thank you, for making this clearer in mind than ever before

  • Audrey says:

    I have to say that this week really made me think of how much time I really spend in my Bible and with God. I t has caused me to stop and be more attentive to His leading and to hear His voice in my everyday life. I have to say that I was a bit behind in my reading and was in the Dr’s office having an IV and finished reading Chapter 4 where it tells us to be accountable for our actions.A friend of mine texted me that I missed seeing the “hottie” tree guy that came to take a tree down for them. I texted her back saying that I was glad I did as then it would have made me have the feelings of lust and then it would be sin for me. I need to take accountability for my thoughts and actions so God can speak to me and my heart can be cleansed and open to hear from Him. I think as women we think we have to do so much more as we are listening to society and the demands it maes on us to be the “perfect” woman. We need ot stop and take the time to listena nd commune with God to be the woman that God expects us to be! I have been experiencing spritual attacks as I have been doing this study and I believe itis because of the wisdome that God is showing me that satan does not want me to know or experience in my life. So glad I am doing this study and breaking and laying the chains of lies down!
    God Bless

  • Lakecia Harris says:

    My thoughts about this week’s lesson:

    Often times I worry about not doing enough and then feeling guilt or shame when I’ve chosen a path that doesn’t line up with what the world says I should be doing. So far this year, God has challenged me with my schedule, finances, and vocation…am I truly living for God or for myself. This has been an ongoing temptation in my life that I’m know addressing through prayer, study, and being alert so that I can continue to line up my priorities in light of eternity…loving this study 🙂 !

  • Dawn-Marie says:

    This weeks lesson really hit home for me. Who ever thought that believing there is just not enough time during the day to do all “I” want is a lie? Rearrange it to be truth and you could say two things, First,is I dont seek out Gods will for my daily life and second, I dont make time for those activities He would have me do, but only for those that “I” would want to do. Then, I asked myself , what do I do with my time? The lesson made me realize I have not been spending my time wisely. I have fallen behind on my womens bible study but decided to catch up and read this weeks lesson. My priorities have been backwards! I learned why I need to be in His word every day FIRST and that once I am in His word everyday, than I will be doing His will for me and not mine thus, I will feel more joy and peace throughout the day at my job and have plenty leftover for my family at night…Does any of this make sense??

  • Pam says:

    1. Why do you think women take on more responsibilities than God intends for them to have? Because we believe the lie: I can do it all.
    2. What do you need to do in order to go to bed each night and say “Today I finished the work the Lord gave me to do? I need to pray at the beginning of each day for God to show me what He wants me to do with my day – What is your will Lord.
    3. Why do you think prayer was such a priority for Jesus? Well first, to be in communion with His Father, He had to draw such strength from prayer. And also to be an example to present and future believers.
    4. I really liked this chapter. It made me stop and think of my life’s priorities, and to ask myself, what does God have on His agenda for me on a daily basis.

  • Lisa S says:

    What do you need to do in order to go to bed each night and say “Today I finished the work that the Lord gave me to do?”
    I guess first I have to figure out how to better listen to God and learn what it is that he wants for me. I am a strong women who through circumstances have been a single mother, rape survivor, child of alcoholics; now a wife to a Christian man, mother to a son (who is saved), owner of a small business, world traveler. I have filled my life up with very satisfying things, but not necessarily what God had in mind for me, or maybe it is. In reading through this chapter at first I was angry, then frustrated, then quietly okay…..reading through the scripture I realize I am trying to justify my busyness, so time to pray, read the Word and slow down enough to figure this out.

    Each day I am trying to find a way to ask the Lord for guidance, start my day saying “Your will be done!” and let things happen, instead of making them happen. I haven’t perfected this at all, but slowly I am getting more comfortable with my role. Dear Jesus, You are in the drivers seat – not me! Amen.

    • Ginger says:

      It’s strange how we get angry first, then our feelings turn to frustration, and then . . . we find out the truth about ourselves. I am running into similar disputes, each chapter oddly getting tougher. Even though it doesn’t feel great at first (being angry & frustrated), those are the beginning workings of change. Which is why nobody welcomes it with a smile. I pray that you are spurred on to continue digging for the truth.

      • Well said Ginger. I just finished reading Chapter 6 and knowing this, I will now go back and read it again tomorrow and probably a third day. We have been conditioned to listen to world views so when we see something based on scripture, it challenged our thinking. We each need to pray into this and not give Satan the benefit of quitting. We will disagree on the topics depending on where we stand in our faith, and it’s alright to be uncomfortable or in disagreement. This is how we grow as Christian women. God opens our eyes to something- even through anger and frustration- and it marinates in our hearts until we see it again, and again and again. He will walk the journey with each of us on an individual basis.When you shut the book, shut your mind and close your eyes…the enemy wins.

  • joannna says:

    Why do you think prayer was such a priority for Jesus ?

    I think this was His time to communicate with His Father about the work He had been sent to do and I also think Jesus living in the flesh needed comfort at times just as we do..

  • Nancy Edgar says:

    Women take on more responsibilities than God intends them to have because we tend to listen to our society rather than God’s words, and before we know it, we can become stressed, exhausted, depressed, angry at God and all of those around us. I am learning from this study how important it is to take that time out each day for God’s word.

  • Chesca says:

    Answer/question #2: My day MUST start with uninterrupted prayer, in order for me to be confident my day’s work was work God gave me to do. I am known as a woman who can “get things done!” I have fought to have the mentality: I can do it!…no matter the challenge, no matter the cost, no matter the personal sacrifice! Well, looking back, I realize my pride in thinking I can do ANYTHING I want to or ANYTHING I’m asked to do, whenever I’m asked to do it. Because more times than not, I did it all on my own…without God. Sure, I pray but my prayers often center around plans I have already made…not an openness to God’s will in a situation FIRST. Perfect example…my family & I are planning a mission trip to Belize to volunteer with an orphange & support a local church. So in a matter of a few days, I 100% obsessed to ENTIRE trip and all the details surrounding it. I have been on the internet more than I have cared for my home. Love how Nancy says: “If he (Satan) can get us to do a great many things ‘for God’ without consciously seeking the will fo God through His Word and prayer, we may stir up a lot of religious dust, but we won’t do Satan’s kingdom any real damage.” Yesterday, I spent dedicated time praying through ALL of my family’s plans/travels/desires, from now through Feb 2013. I surrendered them all, asking God to open & close doors according to His will. It felt soooo good to turn EVERYTHING over to my Father!

  • Debbie says:

    3.Why do you think prayer was such a priority for Jesus?
    Jesus knew that his Father was the source of strength and power. He realized that only during that quiet time spent in prayer and fellowship could he find what he needed to give to others. I believe the same is true for his followers today. When we neglect to devote specific time spend with the Father we find ourselves “spent” and powerless to pour out God’s love to others.

    This book has so helped me to “stop” and take a serious look at my life. I am very thankful I joined the study!

  • I just finished Chap 5 today and to tell you the truth it frustrated me. I prayed and asked God if this was Satan trying to get me angry enough to stop reading, but I believe after reading Proverbs 31 (my favoritye Proverb, BTW) I was justified in my frustration. There are so many women in this world who would love to be Wives, Mothers, but there are also Women who were chosen to walk a spiritual life separate from that. Even Paul suggests that if you can remain Single, you are better off because you can be closer to God. Also, there are those ladies out there who have lived in abusive relationships that gave them no choice but to leave a life as a single Mother. I cried over this today. My own abusive past created my independence and my passion to help other Women to get through theirs. I think of the Women in 3rd World Countries who are doing just what Nancy suggests, but being severely abused, raped, and then thrown in a shallow grave. alive, with their children, because her Husband is dead and “what good is she now?” mentality. Life isn’t perfect…this day in age we women need to find peace in our circumstances and follow the lade in Proverbs 31. Be proud of who you are, be successful in whatever you do, and love the family God gives you; whether it be a Husband, Group of Friends, Co-Workers, or ALL of the Above!

    • I’m glad you are posting this Sharon. The first time I read Chapter five I was angry and in disagreement with Nancy. The second time I read it I saw something different. The third time I read it I lost my bitterness and focused on the scripture, not Nancy’s opinion. It was difficult to digest until I finally understood the emphasis on priorities, not perfection or stereotypes. Your season in life, no matter the role, needs to be centered on God. The seasons will change and we need to be willing to look for God’s presence with each one and to love one another with a Christ-centered heart. I encourage you to re-read the chapter and pray about your current season and priorities. Ask if your will is in alignment with God’s will.

    • Lisa S says:

      Thank you for your insight, I too was frustrated when I first read Chapter 5, with my past experiences, which happened all on the other side of my salvation, looking back I understand how I got to where I was. But, now my job is to live God’s will and not my own. Having a spiritual community to share this with and build the strength to follow through is one of the most important things. I wake up each morning asking the Lord to show me his will! That is where I start….

  • 1. As women, we are often “God and People” pleasers. We want to please so much, that we don’t stop and ask God what it is that He really wants us to do. We are afraid to say “no” for fear that someone will think we don’t have enough faith or we don’t want to serve God.
    2. By starting the day in prayer asking God what He wants us to do that day, we can finish the day knowing that we accomplished his task.
    3. Why do you think prayer was such a priority for Jesus? Before Jesus came to earth, He had constant access to The Father in the perfect heavenly environment. By becoming man and living amongst us, He had to spend time in prayer talking to the Father and the Holy Spirit. What a perfect model for all of us. It is impossible to survive on earth without having access to the heavenly throne room.
    4.She was right-on with this lesson. If we overload ourselves, we are not using our lives to fulfill God’s role for us here on earth, and we become “jack of all trades and master of none” for the Lord.

  • Joy says:

    After chapter 4, I was a little apprehensive about chapter 5 (come on, let’s be real, there are certain things about ourselves we don’t like, but having it pointed out to us, hurts….even if we don’t like it). Chapter 5 was real for me because being a single parent, I have to do it all. Ooops, let me rephase, I THOUGHT I had to do it all. This weekend showed me and a friend that not only have we been conditioned to believe the lie, but we are training our kids to believe the lie without knowing. A friend stopped by my house this weekend with her 4-year old (she’s a single parent as well), she was tired and wanted another adullt around just so she could sit down for a minute, this is the conversation that followed

    4-year-old: Mommy are you sick?
    mom: No baby mommy is just a little tired.
    4-year-old: You’re silly mommy, you can’t be tired
    mom: why
    4-year-old: cause you’re a mommy. Mommys don’t get tired

    I turned around so quickly at that statement, I almost threw my back out “mommys don’t get tired”. How often have we heard other similar expressions that begin with “you’re a mommy, so (fill in the blank)” or “women are stronger than men, they can handle things better”. All women, we think it’s our job to cure world hunger (most of us do…it’s the nuturer in us). We explained to little Trey that everyone including mommys get tired.

    Chapter 5 had me REALLY reflecting on MY beliefs on a woman’s roles and responsibilities (single parent or not). For the FIRST time I went to sleep wtihout thinking about what I had to do the next day. It’s a very freeing feeling. Thank you Jesus for teaching me how to be obedient to your word.

  • Jill P says:

    3. Even though Jesus was God. He was also man. He had to recharge. Inquire of God. Oh goodness. If Jesus had to. How much I MUST spend on time with my Lord. I am tired because I do ot recharge. I have to prioritize.

  • Sue Alice says:

    1. Why do you think women take on more responsibilities than God intends for them to have? Beacuse we can handle anthing all the time and at any time. We do not NEED help from anyone. We are super women, but we need to learn and know that God is the only super person in the world and the only perfect one, He can handle all things and only He can.

    2. What do you need to do in order to go to bed each night and say ” Today I finished the work that God gave me to do”? Be sure and spent time with Him, and do the things He sat before you to do.

    3. Why do you think prayer was such a priority for Jesus? This was the only way He had to talk to his Father and spend time with Him. To honor Him and hear from Him.

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